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Writer's pictureMoreh Lance Hamel

When is a good time to remain silent?


Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."


There are times when it is appropriate to speak. There are also times when it is appropriate to remain silent. Just because an opportunity comes along where we can interject a thought or an opinion on a subject that has made its way into the public domain doesn't necessitate an interjection. Solomon tells us: Proverbs 18:13 "He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him." It is important that we not only hear but remain silent long enough to understand where a person is coming from before we take the opportunity to create chaos with our words.


A discerning person will evaluate the situation and contemplate how to proceed in the conversation. An example: A husband and wife are in intense fellowship (arguing) and the husband has the thought come into his mind to say: "You're just like your mother!". If he is a discerning man, he will immediately reject this idea knowing full well that it will create even more strife for himself than what he is already dealing with. So it is also when conversing with another believer about doctrines, theologies or beliefs. It is a discerning person that knows when it is an appropriate time to have the conversation about a difference in understanding. A person who does not discern will blurt out their disagreement on the spot not caring much about the relationship.


Proverbs 17:27 "He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit." It is a matter of using wisdom and understanding as tools for communication.


Proverbs 10:19 "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise." R' Yonah comments: "A person who speaks too much does not allow himself ample opportunity to properly scrutinize his words before they are spoken. Therefore, he should restrain his lips from speaking until he has scrutinized what he is planning to say."


Some people are not at the same place of understanding as we might be. Therefore, if we are going to have any real impact in discipling those who might show even a speck of interest in Messianic Judaism, we should make certain that we have evaluated our level of relationship with that person and ask ourselves two important questions: Have I developed a relationship with this person and will they understand what I am about to say? If the answer to either of those questions is "No", then now is not the time. Wait! להתראות!


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